The challenge to lead others by example and help them find the drive to succeed
As a life coach and a personal trainer, there is something I have encountered repetitively: clients/friends/family members who lack motivation!
This issue can be inflammatory and create problems, both personally and professionally. For me, it is of paramount importance to find ways to motivate those around me to find the drive within themselves to succeed. I try to motivate people around me whether they pay me for it or not, either way, it is a delicate process.
Consider a child. In my experience coaching children, they often times require much less effort in convincing them to push themselves. Many times just a little extra attention and some enthusiasm is all it takes to get at least a result. We all started out as children...what happens to us in life that makes it so much more difficult for us to push ourselves or to be pushed by someone else?
As a self starter and highly motivated individual, I marvel sometimes at the behavior of full grown adults resisting the drive toward better results. Over time I have made observations, some of which I will now share with you. Feel free to use these tips on yourself, a friend, or anyone close to you who shows a lack of desire to improve themselves or their performance in any certain aspect of their life.
Be sure to feel the person out and look for cues when using these techniques. Nobody likes to be pushed too hard!
Tip #1 - Give them something they want!
This may seem simple but it may take practice to execute effectively.
Often times people lack motivation to do something because we cannot see how it will ultimately serve our pleasure centers. Whether trying to get a middle aged mom to perform a workout circuit or get a teen to do their homework, offering them the opportunity to be who they want to be can be an effective way to provide incentive to complete a task they are not particularly fond of.
Sometimes just alluding to the possibility of gaining the desired reward is enough to generate enough willpower, at least temporarily to power through the dreaded task. Using key words and tact is important, and keeping them focused on the reward is key!
Stroke their ego.
Tony Robbins once said' "the strongest force in the human personality is the need to stay consistent with how we define ourselves."
What happens if or self image appears inconsistent with our own reality?
Some people claim to be scholarly, but their grades do not reflect the notion. Some people claim to be former athletes, but appear inexperienced and unfamiliar with even the most common exercises.
If this phenomena is persistent in the person you wish to motivate, use it to your advantage!
If applied with finesse, stroking the ego is an effective way to challenge the person to be who they claim to be. This often leads to the person putting in maximum effort for a short time. Their desire to defend the ego will likely overtake the feelings of resistance, and may lead them to finding a deeper motivation to manifest their ego into reality more consistently The middle tips should go into a bit more detail, explain more. Keep them short and to-the-point. E.g., if you're writing a post about how to blog, you can write something like: "Decide how often you want to blog. Be realistic about it. Think you can blog twice a month? Commit to once a month and stick to it."
"the strongest force in the human personality is the need to stay consistent with how we define ourselves." – Tony Robbins
Communication is key!
In my journey as a trainer and coach, I have discovered it is paramount to endlessly refine my communication skills.
Everyone is different. Every client, every family member, every teammate, every friend. What motivates each individual will be a little different, no matter how similar two people may seem to be.
With this in mind, remember to set clear expectations. Be persistent in reminding them of the goal, and the importance of following through. Use praise when they demonstrate resilience or reach milestones. Remember, when trying to motivate someone, communication is an important tool, and how it is used will be an important factor in getting the results you want.
Knowledge is power.
Lastly, it is important to remember why we strive to help others. Motivators are natural leaders, and truly believe in a better and more balanced world. One of the keys to how to motivate lazy people is providing knowledge. This is a great way to gain respect from others, and to show them how much you care.
Sharing knowledgeable tips, insights, or wisdom is like planting a seed. We are not likely to see that seed grow instantly into a tree, but with time and cultivation, the seed will eventually sprout. As the people around us become more knowledgeable, they will be much more likely to become self motivated and share their knowledge with a person who needs their help. This is how motivating others becomes a self replicating benefit, a crucial tool for team building, and the glue that will hold connections together in a 21st century world.
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